R.Kelly Wrote A Book? GTFOH!

This.Cant.Be.Life.

Props: blogs.laweekly.com

An illiterate wrote a book? Like a man who can’t read, or write…wrote a book called Soula Coaster. #lifeisthematrix

Some excerpts from the book:

An 8 year old R-Kelly, becomes an accidental porn director

“She gave me a Polaroid camera. The guy liked the idea as much as she did. They got into positions where I could see their private parts. I snapped the picture. When she showed me how it took only a minute to develop, I was amazed. The photographic technology impressed me more than the sex.”

He was more impressed by the technology! LOL

Old Man offers him candy for handy.

“As I finished my melon, he told me to come into his room. “When I was a little boy ’bout your age,” Mr. Blue recalled. “I had an uncle who paid me a dollar to rub on his dick. Shit, I’d take that money and buy me all kinds of candy.” At this point Mr. Blue pulled out his penis and started rubbing it with grease. It looked like a monster. The last thing I wanted to do was rub it.”

He had no issues with the qualms withe act per se just that it was a lot of work. Everyman deserves a livable wage!!

After reading theses excerpt, Trapped In The Closet, Chapters 1 through 22 ALL make sense now. This is Drake’s Marvin’s room, if Drake wasnt an eunuch…

THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS. It’s absurdity blurts the line between reality and fiction.  Almost Like a Dave Chapelle Skit.

I had to.

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